I'm generally not one for censorship. I am happy to be living in a country where people are free to read, watch, or listen to whatever they want. This of course applies to adults, but what about children? I absolutely adore A Clockwork Orange and Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (both the books and movies), but would I show/read them to a ten year old? Hell no! So where does one draw the line for a child who may not be able to tell the difference between real and imaginary? Also, are there any toys that I should not allow my child to play with before a certain age?
As far as movies go, the ratings system in my mind is a little too overprotective. Obviously, the most important thing will be to know my child and his/her sense of reality to determine when certain movies are appropriate, but generally I'd say using the rating system minus two years is a relatively safe bet. Most PG-13 movies are VERY tame and can be handled by anyone over the age of ten. With the R rating, I know that by the time I got to high school I had no problem seeing any movie I wanted (and that was before high-speed internet), so I think that would be a logical time to lift the ban. More important than setting a specific age is to start a dialog at an early age about the difference between what they see on the screen or read in a book, and what is acceptable in real life.
As far as toys go, I have a feeling this may be a lost cause, and I use myself as an example. My parents decided when I was born that I would not be allowed any toy guns. Then at some point around the age of three I picked up a stick, pointed it at a tree, and started yelling "Bang! Bang!" Clearly I already understood the concept of a gun, and keeping me from a toy wasn't going to change anything... Then we have toys that indoctrinate children with stereotypes about the way they should act and look (Bratz, I'm looking at you). This is what scares me the most. After teaching at a high school for two years, I know how much today's kids are influenced by what they are told on TV and in music. Not that I wasn't so influenced when I was a kid, but now it seems out of control.
Is there a line of children's toys out there that encourages free thinking? I'm sure there are plenty, I just need to look into it.
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3 comments:
When I was growing up, my parents had the same "no gun" rule. Of course I picked up the same stick & played the same shoot-em-up game. Now I have 2 boys: a 3 year old & a 4 month old. The closest thing my 3 year old had to a gun was a water gun in fun shapes. Sure enough, we were in the back yard playing & he picked up the same stick & started shooting. I know & understand that it's up to me to guide my sons in the right direction & define their principals.... this is something called parenting, that as a high school teacher i'm sure you don't see enough of.
Just use your imagination & look for toys, arts & crafts or anything that can spark imagination. More importantly, lead by example! Show your children the fun of using their imagination.
ps-if you really want to be turned off read the book "Buy Baby Buy" about marketing to kids.
All the best,
Brian
I remember the stick-as-gun incident. Shortly after that I also remember grandma McC. giving you MY toy guns from when I was a very young "cowgirl". Hum... did we save those for Monkey??
Imagination is the key to toys-- that's why sometime the best choice is a cardboard box-- not the toy inside. And reading, of course, forces us all to be creative & use our imagination.
Parenting is an adventure and a lifelong learning process. And the reward is you get to see the little darling grow up to be an intelligent and successful adult who CAN separate reality from fiction, hopefully.
Oh, by the way, always select toys and books that YOU want to play with and read (age appropriate, of course, for the CHILD!)
Have fun "censoring"! You'll love it!
Interesting thoughts. I read a book called "Christian Parenting in the Information Age" that addressed some of those ideas. Anyway, what I realized is that I want to be extremely cautious (especially because Callie is a girl) giving Callie toys or encouraging her to watch shows that might cause her to have unhealthy standards for herself when it comes to beauty. Also, there are some interesting studies done on young children watching TV and how it interferes with learning... I'm sure you guys will make great choices though!
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